QPSK Tied The Knot 29 Feb 2020

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∞ QPSK Wedding Reception Photos — http://bit.ly/QPSK_290220

∞ Our friend did a video collage of our wedding:

#suzieqppie ♡ 29 Feb 2020 — https://youtu.be/E2dC7DbeDEs

∞ 2020 Pre-wedding — Photo Shoot — https://youtu.be/6KG5BTpxpxM

∞ 2020 Wedding — Childhood Video — https://youtu.be/XC6zPpS0Ck8

∞ 2020 Wedding — Friend’s Tribute Video — https://youtu.be/RLwqE2mCiPY

Summary of our 29 Feb 2020

Morning — ROM Signing

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Afternoon — Fetch the Bride session

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Evening — Tea Ceremony

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Evening — Wedding Dinner

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Reflections:

What did this day mean for us?

  • Our wedding day came to us with a sense of foreboding anxiety. Having been intimately part of this DIY planning process, we understood the scale and magnitude of coordinating all the moving parts, to ensure a pleasant experience for our guest.
  • But what really surprised us on the day itself was this overwhelming feeling of bittersweet happiness and gratitude. To have this accumulation of people who have contributed to the history of our lives.
  • Each interaction and each handshake reminded us of a point in our lives, where each of them mattered to us deeply and how these memories have been carved into our heart. It was an immense joy to have all these facets of our lives come together to witness our new commitments as a couple.
  • The day passed by with such a flurry of activities and interactions, there was just not enough time to meaningfully spend with everybody. But the night also ended with such a bittersweet longing. Knowing that this lovely night and experience, would be one of these memories that will never happen again for the rest of our lives.
  • 29 Feb does not come by often. This special day on every leap year will now hold extra significance to us: the blessings from our dear family and friends; and a leap for us to embrace commitment.

How did our perceptions of weddings change?

  • I guess after our wedding night, our perceptions of what a wedding could be did change significantly. We was really surprised about how such a large scale event could be such an intimate and meaningful moment for me.
  • To feel connected with my family; to have the space where we could share the feelings and memories that we’ve never been able to say to each other. To feel closer to my friends; to see each of them carving out a day of their lives to travel and join me in this milestone of my life. And to be reminded how meaningful moments and memories are created with people and communities that we love.
  • A wedding is like a big project involving teamwork between family and friends. Looking back, it has been a fun ordeal delegating tasks and coordinating duties between family members & friends. It is not often that we get to work together as a unit on a common goal. I think it is a great experience and memory.
  • I do think there is this underlying aversion in our circle of friends, to this facade of weddings that become a boastful event to others. But with the right intentions and the right amount of heart, we can have weddings that can be a reminder of a life well lived.

Our Wedding Speech

QP — Thank you everyone for being here with us tonight. We are immensely grateful to have the people, that have made our lives meaningful… to be with us here tonight.

Susan — And thank you for making time to be here with us on this special day in the leap year!

For a long time I’ve been going through this very complex relationship with my wedding. Firstly in wondering, why do weddings have to be such a complicated and boastful affair? With so many layers of expectations from family, from friends, from colleagues… and even strangers giving me advice.

But I think this journey for me went into a deeper layer of asking myself. What does this commitment of marriage mean? What was important to me at this stage in life? And what type of future did Susan and I want to build together? And honestly jumping into booking this 29 Feb date for 2020, I took a lot of this journey for granted. Thinking this relationship and task of marriage would be an easy affair

The journey to this wedding has been a whirlwind of love & anxiety for me. Some of you here have known that we have been living together for some time now. Questions like: Do we really need to get married? What will that change for us? What commitments are we signing ourselves into? Are we the right ones for each other? Various doubts come in and it has created hiccups along the way. During the whole planning process, I have learned quite a lot about the idea of a marriage, but most of all, I discovered a lot more about Qing Ping and I.

And I guess… We are happy to have made it here tonight. To come through this journey a little bit humbler, a little bit wiser and I guess a lot poorer. Personally, I have a lot of gratitude… In this process of discovering what it means for me to make promises, and how I have actually been pushed to stay true to them.

And also in discovering more about family. Thank you Pa, Ma and Jie, for guiding me in this journey of life, and for raising me up with grace and dignity. You have given me opportunities and privileges that I could not thank you enough for. And as our family grows with newer generations.. I hope we can continue to build memories and moments to cherish together

And finally… for me to develop a greater appreciation for tonight. As an excuse to bring families, friends and people from different walks of our lives tha have built us up to who we are today… To be able to witness and celebrate our commitment as a couple.

Marriage for me in essence, is about a journey in confronting the world that is bigger than myself. It has brought together two unique individuals, two distinct families and their networks; merging two distinct ecosystems. It is no longer about me, nor just about Qing Ping, it is about us. And I find it really really beautiful in the type of miniature ecosystem that we now inhabit.

I have learnt that we only need to stay true to our hearts and listen to our bodies, have a little faith in us and brace the future hand in hand. Our future is what we make of it.

这几年来,我都没好好地向我父母致敬。我们亚洲人嘛,是不善于表达情感,尤其是对于我们的亲人。今天借此,我要特别感谢爸爸妈妈对我的宠爱和包容。从我出生那天起,你们就被我欺负至今。偶尔让你们担心,有时也伤了你们。无意间就把你们的爱当成是理所当然的。为此我要和你们说声对不起。你们给于我的,这辈子真的还不完。尽管今日我嫁了,我永远都是你们的女儿,永远都是一家人。Eng sub: To my parents, I have not thank you enough. As you know, we being Asians, are not good in expressing our emotions, especially towards our family. Thank you, Daddy & Mummy for your unconditional love and tolerance. I have been “bullying” you both since I was born. Sleepless nights when you’re worried about me. Hurting you with my words and temper, etc. Unconsciously, I have taken you for granted. I am sorry for what I have done. I just want to tell you that, nothing will change the fact that I am your daughter. We are always a family.

And to Susan, my partner, my best friend, my life… I know this journey together has been an immense ask from you. And I know of the many people in this room, that have been worried if I could ever find someone that can handle me.

But thank you… for being here with me today. For bringing the tenderness and safety to me in life. To hold me when I am broken… and to also venture with me in building realities, where we can thrive together. Thank you for loving me whole heartedly, and accepting me… When I am just beginning this journey in accepting myself.

To QP, thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone. Journeying with you has not been easy but similarly, I am not an easy partner as well. Good job surviving until now! I am grateful that you are always there to give me a push when I am sitting on the fence, to (forcibly) invite me to explore and question myself. Thank you for accepting me and walking the journey towards the great unknown with me.

We truly appreciate your time and presence here with us tonight. We hope that for you, tonight was an opportunity to experience weddings differently. To be able to take risk… To talk to someone new, to share our stories and to build a space for us to connect with one another.

Thank you to those who have cared for us… We have grown stronger through your love and compassion. And we look forward to our journey together ahead.

Originally published at http://qpskpii.wordpress.com on March 8, 2020.

Written by

Programme Manager @ Padang & Co | Architectural Designer | Startups, Participatory Design and Social Enterprise sectors https://www.linkedin.com/in/llqingping/

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